Stay Sexually Agile after 50

Mid-life crisis when you and your partner turn 50 or beyond brings with its agonizing times for the couple. Don’t lose heart, it is possible to revitalize your love life, the way it used to be: romantic, loving, and full of enjoyable sex By Team Double Helical

Have you ever thought, sex after 50 can be the best sex of your life? It is the time of life when men often suffer from problems like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and delayed ejaculation. Women too have to face low sex drive, lack of desire, and problems with orgasms. Hundreds of men and women begin to experience the first signs of a more mature life: getting tired more easily; the surprise when a man’s erection did not spring to attention when his partner kissed him; the bewilderment when an erection disappeared during intercourse or oral sex, a form of intimacy that would once have had a man groaning with pleasure; the distressing realization that it might be time to reach for a bottle of lube because things somehow are not as juicy as they need to be for pleasurable lovemaking; the sudden realization that your partner is actually avoiding sex with you, or even turning you down when you suggest it.

A woman might notice her clitoris and labia are not swelling up in the way that they used to during sex; she might notice that intercourse is uncomfortable because her vagina seems to be much more sensitive to thrusting and may even tear slightly during intercourse.

“If you are facing some of the challenges that can come with sex after 50 years of age, don’t despair! Almost every problem that affects lovers at this time in their lives can be solved. Low sexual desire in men and women can sometimes stop a couple having sex altogether, but there are plenty of ways to keep romance alive and your sex life on the boil. Indeed, you can have the most passionate and enjoyable sex of your life after 50”

Dr Ranjan Suri from Tata Nagar, Jharkhand, an experienced sex therapist

A man might notice that his erection doesn’t stand up as high as it did, or that his ejaculation has much less force. Or he might suddenly find that he can’t get another erection for several hours or even days after an ejaculation. And that can be something that shakes him to the core, especially if he has always regarded his sexuality as a crucial part of who he is.

According to a report, women are slightly better off, because there is a lot of information available which helps them prepare for the major lifechange of the menopause, as well as online support groups which help them deal with the emotional and practical consequences of this period. If you are a woman, and your male partner is refusing to talk about sex, how on earth would you even know what to do? You want the loving, sexual connection you once had. But every time you raise the subject of sex he brushes you off and avoids the subject.

Well, there are things that you can do to show him that his sexuality is still powerful and attractive, to restore his confidence. You can tell him, through some simple actions, that you still want those blessed moments of intimacy with him. He’ll respond to you with love.

If you are a man and your partner has lost interest in sex, how on earth do you ever get her to want to make love again? Or suppose your partner has gone through the menopause and now every time you try to make love, she complains intercourse is painful, or her vagina doesn’t lubricate, or she always fails to have an orgasm.

Would you know what to do or say to her, not just to reassure her, but to actually turn your sex life into something that’s passionate and exciting? Would you know how to help her become fully sexual once again, so you can enjoy the pleasures of intercourse, just as you always have?

The sexologists believe that most people don’t know the answers to these questions. They believe the majority of people need a way to deal with middle-aged sexuality, a formula that restores intimacy and love, a set of techniques and tools that reverses the physical changes taking place (or provides a way of working around them – for both partners).

In particular, if your sex drive is dropping and your motivation to have sex is lower, it’s all too easy to avoid having sex altogether. But once you start avoiding sex that becomes an established pattern. Why? Because it’s much easier to avoid sex than take the risk of losing your erection or experiencing vaginal dryness or having painful intercourse or not being able to ejaculate or reach orgasm.

If you are a woman going through the menopause, you may be very confused about hormone replacement therapy or low sex drive. You might need to solve the problem of lack of lubrication, or the thinning of the vaginal wall that results in uncomfortable sex. You might want to know how to cope with changes in the way you feel about your body as you see it maturing.

There are probably many questions that you want to ask about how to carry on being sexual, being orgasmic. If you’re feeling adventurous, you might want to know how best to explore new sexual techniques with your partner. Or you might just want to know how to carry on as before.

As a woman, you might want to know how to support your man as he goes through changes in his sexual desire and libido, as he experiences a lessening of his staying power and his masculine strength, as he finds his erections and ejaculations changing, and as these things impact on his mood, self-image, and confidence.

As a man, you might be desperate to know how to reassure your partner that she’s still attractive to you, and how much you still want sex. Or you might be struggling to understand why you don’t want sex any more. All of these things are possible; all these challenges can be overcome. How can I say this with such confidence?

If you are a man around 50, you may be scared about losing potency, or frightened by the signs that your sexual power is lessening. You might be experiencing challenges around your role in life, about exactly how you’ve spent your life up till now, or how you’re going to spend the years ahead of you.

You might be experiencing real discomfort at the threat of losing your sexuality, particularly if your sex drive is lower or your erections are less reliable, or your ejaculations are not as powerful. And of course, there is a lot more to the male midlife experience of sex and love than simple physical changes.

Midlife produces issues about purpose and power, about your role as a man, about how you see yourself as your sexuality evolves. Whereas you once expected instant erections as rigid as a pole, you might now need a very different kind of stimulation to become erect, just as you might need a different approach to intercourse to satisfy your partner’s needs.

If you have seen your sexual capacity as an expression of your love for your partner, or as an expression of your masculinity, then you’ll certainly be challenged by the changes you experience as you pass 50 years of age and enter the years beyond.

Sometimes Viagra is a solution for erectile issues. Sometimes hormone replacement therapy is needed to overcome depression or a lack of sex drive, or to counteract the changes in your body. You might also want to know how to keep a loving relationship with your partner going, how to improve it, and how to reach a place where you enjoy better sex than ever before. Forget your pre conceptions; forget what you have been told in the past. Sex is great, for both sexes, at 50 and far beyond.

Dr Ranjan Suri from Tata Nagar, Jharkhand, an experienced sex therapist, has turned 57 lives with a beautifully very sexy beautiful lady who has recently turned 59. Dr Ranjan shares about his sexual habit after fifty from experience. Dr Ranjan says that first and foremost, if you are facing some of the challenges that can come with sex after 50 years of age, don’t despair! Almost every problem that affects lovers at this time in their lives can be solved.

According to Dr Ranjan, low sexual desire in men and women can sometimes stop a couple having sex altogether, but there are plenty of ways to keep romance alive and your sex life on the boil. Indeed, you can have the most passionate and enjoyable sex of your life after 50. You just need to know how dealing effectively with the symptoms of the female menopause, including low sex drive, hot flashes, natural changes in your body is response to sexual stimulation, unpredictable mood swings…and the rest, including the dilemma around hormone replacement therapy, problems with vaginal lubrication, and painful intercourse. beating the symptoms of the male andropause – (that’s the word for all the changes in a man’s body around the age of 45 to 55) such as loss of sex drive and sexual desire.

Some symptoms like changes in your body’s response to sexual stimulation, especially less reliable erections and weaker ejaculations, and perhaps not even being able to get an erection, physical changes which might include penile and testicular shrinkage, aches and pains, muscle wasting, and more … all can be dealt with very effectively if you know how.

Male mid-life crisis is a stage of life sometimes treated like a joke, which in fact is anything but funny, involving as it does a lack of motivation, depression, loss of confidence, lack of purpose, feelings of hopelessness, despair, a sense of grief at aging, irritability, anger, and more. Difficulties with sexual intercourse – whether these are caused by physical issues which make sex difficult, like vaginal dryness and loss of erection, or by relationship difficulties that stop it happening, or even a puzzling dwindling away of intercourse for no obvious reason, you can find out here how to revitalize your sex life and enjoy some of the best sex you have ever had.

Erectile dysfunction or erection problems can range from once in a while failure to complete loss of erection, no matter what form they take, these problems can be devastating to a man’s confidence. And yet, given the right treatment approach, all these issues can be resolved, your confidence restored – together with your erection – and your enjoyment of sex renewed.

The common body issues of midlife are related to how do you cope with all the changes that midlife can bring – drooping, sagging, losing elasticity. Women and men want to stay on good terms with their bodies so they can enjoy sex at least as much as before… perhaps even more than before.

For women, the menopause is a crucial time, signaling the loss of fertility and the end of the possibility of getting pregnant. For some women, this heralds a new dawn of sexual freedom (no worries now about contraception) and sparks an era of new desire and passionate sex. For others, it seems like the loss of an essential part of themselves. For men, too, there can be a sense of losing the male power and vitality which has fuelled so much of their adult life. For everyone, it’s a time of change. Yet in the natural order of things, women and men grow into a mature sexuality at this time of life that’s just as rewarding as anything you ever experienced before.

The common body issues of midlife are related to how do you cope with all the changes that midlife can bring – drooping, sagging, losing elasticity. Women and men want to stay on good terms with their bodies so they can enjoy sex at least as much as before… perhaps even more than before

Says Dr Ranjan, “I have never heard a man speak of sex after 50 as being less satisfying than sex earlier in his life. Sure, men may have less sex, less often, but it tends to last longer and even if they ejaculate less powerfully, the satisfaction seems to be as great. I believe all women, too, can enjoy sex just as much after 50 as before. Both men and women can enjoy intense, passionate sex after 50 here”.

Relationship difficulties – many couples find that when their sex drive falls, or the children leave home, there doesn’t seem to be much keeping their relationship together. Yet really good sex definitely acts as the glue that keeps a couple together, no matter how old they are. It promotes affection, intimacy, bonding and mutual love. A couple can remain lovers, in every sense of that word – spiritually, physically, emotionally, and practically – with some simple, easy techniques that can transform your relationship. This is essential information if you feel that you’re drifting away – possibly through a lack of sex – from your lover, partner or spouse.

Is growing into your mature sexuality more than the sum of all the things above? Yes, probably….it’s also about evolving emotionally, accepting that things aren’t what they were, they are different, probably better. You should know powerful techniques to help you move to a place of psychological power, no matter how you may think about life after 50 at the moment. Explains Dr Ranjan, “The fact is, your sexual organs really do stay younger longer, the more you use them. And to prevent hardening of the arteries, as well as hardening of the attitudes, there is nothing like regular sex! You need to know all the sexual tips, tricks and techniques to ensure that your sexual desire remains high and your orgasms are powerful – no matter how old you are.”